9/11 and the Rise and Fall of Voldemort

9/11 forever stands out as a significant date in our history, so important that it needs no other name. The significance of this date is comparable to that fateful night Voldemort tried to kill Harry Potter, but instead brought forth the legend of the Boy That Lived. Much like 9/11, as Voldemort died, he brought forth life. The life of Harry Potter was ignited by that flash of green light, bringing forth a realm of different experiences that never would've happened if Voldemort had not killed his parents and Harry had not survived. On 9/11, as first responders, civilians, and terrorists died against the backdrop of the bright blue sky, a new life was also brought forth. Under the flag at half mast, our country united in grievance and we were almost reborn in our patriotism. Now, our society has tried to move on ten years later because 9/11 will always be part of us, but we will never let it define us. As the wise Albus Dumbledore said, "We must try not to sink beneath our anguish, Harry, but battle on."

Movie Review: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2

On July 15, 2011, thus started the beginning of the end. The characters many people from my generation have grown up with and have grown to know and cherish are being remembered for the last time on the big stage. Never again will there be another time in Muggle history that we can revel in the wonderful world of Harry Potter to the extent of the last decade.

I would first like to say that most of the Harry Potter movies suck. They don't make a whole lot of sense on their own, and the only reason why a lot of people like them is because they do a good job of illustrating what goes on in fans' heads. The casting from the very start was nearly perfect, and visually, the entire franchise has been spectacular. However, the movies have lacked a sense of clear explanation and narration, and the last movie was no exception. In general, the eighth and final Harry Potter movie was about what I expected: hyped, visually amazing, slightly disappointing, but overall satisfying. It was enough to satisfy the immense fan base but not enough to be called a great movie. Being a book purist, there were many major parts in the movie that did not match up to the book, and I didn't like that.

Pros:

1. Neville Longbottom: The mere fact that the prophecy could've applied to Neville as well as Harry makes him a very important character, and his true Gryffindor qualities really shown through in the last book. Arguably, the movie did a better job of emphasizing his importance. The movie was different from the book in that they made the slaying of Nagini much more dramatic, and gave Neville more dramatic scenes that really helped viewers remember that no, Neville is not a Hufflepuff. 
2. The Gray Lady: In the book, Harry's conversation with the ghost of Ravenclaw tower is not quite so dramatic. I also liked her little riddle about the Room of Requirement, and I also liked that Luna was the one that gave Harry the idea. 
3. The Flaw in the Plan: The movie almost completely changed the chapter from the book, which made the battle between Harry and Voldemort a public affair. In the movie, the two wizards "finished it together", which was both more visually pleasing and gave the characters a greater sense of finality. It wouldn't have necessarily been that important that the characters finished that way in the book, but cinematically, I liked that Voldemort and Harry had a more personal end. 
4. Ron and Hermoine's kiss: I liked that the movie showed Hermoine actually stabbing the Horcrux, while the book merely told us that it happened. I also liked that the kiss happened in the Chamber of Secrets. I was afraid that if the movie remained faithful to the house-elf comment in the book, it would've been awkward. 
5. "NOT MY DAUGHTER, YOU BITCH!": I was literally waiting for that line the entire movie. I am so happy that they remembered to include it, because that line sums up Molly Weasley's strong Gryffindor character. She isn't just the doting mother who has lost a son in the battle; she is a strong witch that is strong enough for revenge. 

Cons:

1.  Eyes: If the movie is going to harp about the importance of Harry's eyes looking similar to his mother's, MAKE THEIR EYES LOOK THE SAME. I don't understand the difficulty of making their eyes look the same. If you can make Voldemort have no nose, you can give the two actors some color contacts. Also, Snape's last words were "Look at me", NOT "Look at me. You have your mother's eyes." You do not change last words. If you are going to change last words, don't talk about eyes that don't look the same. 
2. The Deathly Hallows: The movie didn't stay true to the freaking title. The movie does not emphasize that Harry is the master of death because he possesses the Deathly Hallows, and it does not talk about how his acceptance of death is why he truly masters it.  
3. Wands: I didn't like how Harry snapped the Elder Wand in half and threw it over the bridge. In the book, he repaired his phoenix wand and returned the Elder Wand to Dumbledore, where it truly belonged. With the way the movie was structured, Harry would've continued using Draco's hawthorne wand for the rest of his life, which is completely wrong. 
4. The Gray Lady: Although I liked how the movie set up the conversation, I didn't like that she didn't mention anything about the history of the diadem and the Bloody Baron. The Gray Lady just got really pissed off. 
5. Dumbledore: Dumbledore is truly the most complex character in this book, and the movie absolutely not do that justice. The entire drama about Grindelwald and the Deathly Hallows, Ariana and Aberforth, was not really explained in the movie. The chapter "King's Cross" explained everything about Dumbledore's personal conflicts, and instead it focused more on Harry, which was not the point of the chapter at all. I realize that it might've been boring to have a long conversation in the movie, but I think that the movie maker people could've found a way of illustrating Dumbledore's explanation through flashbacks or something. 
6. The Next Generation: Why does Harry's kid look like some flat-ironed hipster punk? The did such a good job at casting; why did they half-ass the kid? He looks like so...typical. I would think that Harry Potter's kid would look more like him, at least have some messy hair or something, not some Bieber Swoop and a plaid shirt.

Curfews

I wish I had a curfew.

I'm pretty sure that statement just gave 99% of teenagers heart attacks due to shock. It's not so much that I want to come home at a certain time every night, I just want to know what time I'm supposed to come home without getting in trouble. Until now, I've never really had an established curfew, but last night I got home around 12 and suddenly I get in trouble.And I can't go see Harry Potter since apparently it's too late. IT'S HARRY FUCKING POTTER.

It's not like a curfew would make a difference anyways. People who know me well know that bending time is one of my favorite pastimes. 

Inhumane Treatment

I will not be seeing Harry Potter at midnight.
I will not be dressing up and hexing the first-years.
I will not be the Gryffindor sitting next to a Slytherin.
I will not be participating in a standing ovation at the finale of the greatest literary accomplishment in modern times.

Because I will not be seeing Harry Potter at midnight.

2011 is a really shit year to be 16 isn't it? It's a pretty shit time to have legal limitations on where you can go. It's a pretty mindfucking occasion to miss because of the simple fact that you are still confined to the statutes of parental control.

IT STINKS.

But you know, people who are going have fun.





Fuck you.

Haven't Done Shit

Things I Should Be Doing In Order To Have A Productive Summer

1. Study for SATs
2. Study for Math II Subject Test
3. Email my teachers recommendation stuff
4. College visiting
5. Working on college essays

Things I Have Done

1. Calculated my GPA for fun
2. Bought the Harry Potter box set
3. Read Harry Potter
4. Played with my wand
5. Blog about Pottermore

I'm never going to get shit done. I'm going to get to August and realize that the rest of my summer is going to suck. 

Pottermore: Dissappointing or Brilliant?

28 minutes ago, Pottermore.com was launched as an "online Harry Potter experience". I anticipated the owls gathering and JK Rowling's announcement as something incredible, but her video announcement basically said nothing. Apparently, this website is going to be about the readership of Harry Potter interacting in Harry's world online and Rowling will also release some information about the series that she has been keeping to herself all this time. While this is a pretty cool idea, the whole fanfare about the owls gathering and her big announcement was basically the dumbest thing ever, because it was kind of an anticlimatic announcement, wasn't it?

On the other hand, this is JK Rowling we're talking about. She is a certified genius. Her website has more portals and secrets than I could ever start to imagine discovering. So while I'm a little disappointed by the nonanswer to my questions about Pottermore, I have no doubt in my mind that it will probably be mindblowing.

Father's Day

“Anyone can fucking procreate, and most eventually do. I refuse to celebrate a statistical probability” --shitmydadsays

We really shouldn't be celebrating birthdays should we? We really shouldn't celebrate having a certain role in life. Happy Father's Day! It's another reminder that you were too much of an asshole to use a condom that one time! Happy Mother's Day! Thanks for squeezing me out of your vagina! Happy birthday! Congratulations on existing!

I refuse to acknowledge that today is Father's Day, besides the fact that I am outwardly acknowledging its existence by talking about how stupid it is. Wouldn't moms and dads prefer to be thanked for their roles on random days, rather than days that are set forth by stores in order to sell more ties in June and more Martha Stewart merchandise in March? Not only is Father's Day stupid, I just realized that basically all those stupid holidays are pointless. Memorial Day is nothing more than the day pools open and it's time to wear white. Labor Day just makes unemployed people feel bad. Earth Day is the day everyone recycles and feels like a superhero, and then the day afterwards, they buy a Hummer. 

These are the holidays we should have: Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday. Feel free to celebrate accordingly.

Attempts at Cybersexing

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.

You: heyy

Stranger: hey babe asl ?

You: 16 f usa

You: hbu hottie?

Stranger: im 15 f austalia ;)

You: fuck that i can talk to one of those in real life

You have disconnected.

 

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.

You: hi

Stranger: hi

Stranger: i am gay

You: i am not

You: well, this presents quite a tickle, doesn't it?

Stranger: you do not feel like putting a penis in your mouth?

You: i mean, i just ate

Stranger: yes

You: if you were really flexible, you could probably suck it yourself and its so much more convenient for me

Stranger: why?

You: because you need to be pretty flexible to reach your own dick

Stranger: truth. hahahaha

Stranger: but you know why most were close to Brazil?

You: most what?

You: dicks? gay people?

Stranger: you ever want to eat milk shake?

You: i like drinking milkshakes. with a straw. at fuddruckers

Stranger: Ever wished you put a penis in your mouth?

You: theres one in my mouth now, why do you think i cant fit yours?

Stranger: if you want, that's great.

Stranger: asl?

You: 107, married, the north pole

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

From Hollywood to Fairfax

Certain celebrities give me good vibes. I fall in love with their imagined personas that their agents create for them, but I am defenseless against the onslaught of media and glamour that is part of the celebrity world. Most specifically, I imagine many male celebrities as part of my life. There are forty year old women out there who still think they can still get with Jay Sean, and to be honest, I don't blame them if all they have is a beer-guzzling husband to get home to. So anyways, in no particular order except for my number 1 is really my number 1, the following is a list of Male and Lesbian Celebrities that Should be Part of Linh's Life.

Darren Criss-husband Think of the beautiful babies we would make. They would be like beautiful Wasian-Asian babies with silky hair and beautiful green eyes. Hopefully the girls wouldn't inherit those bushy eyebrows, though.

Simon Baker-father I am so in love with his character on The Mentalist, and he was just too adorable on Ellen. I'm pretty sure Ellen is the only person who can bring out the true personality of any celebrity. Anyways, Simon Baker would be like, the coolest father ever. He's good looking enough that it's impossible for him to make ugly babies, but not too good looking because I don't want my friends hitting on him even once he's a silver fox. 

Ellen-mother Just think about ALL THE FREE STUFF. I would get like, a country for my eighteenth birthday because the king of Madagascar loves Ellen so much.

 

Robert Downey Jr.-uncle Whenever Simon Baker won't let me do something stupid and crazy and destructive, I can just call up Ironman. I have a weakness for quirky people (look at my choice for a husband) and Robert Downey Jr. still wears sneakers with suits to premiers even though he's like 50 million years old.

Matt Lanter-older brother It is not creepy to want a hot older brother. Hot brother=bring his hot friends. It's called benefits.

10 Incurable Awkward Moments

1. When there's someone dancing really badly in the middle of that circle at that party
2. That fat girl complaining about how fat she is, expecting you to say, "Oh no, you're not that fat", when the bitch inside you is thinking the exact opposite
3. Facebook stalking a complete stranger through mutual friends, and when you actually meet in person, you accidentally mention their photo from 2008
4. Accidentally liking something while stalking
5. Feeling your boobs bounce (good) as your stomach fat also bounces (very very bad) as you're running in a bikini
6. Going on a college tour and your parent asks about the social life
7. Pooping in school restrooms, each plop resonating off the highly echoic walls
8. Walking around naked home alone...until whoops, not alone anymore
9. Watching people pick out romance novels at the library/bookstore. It's like watching someone download porn.
10. You're the first in the family to be put in Hufflepuff.