THE WORLD'S BEST OMEGLE CONVERSATION

Not about Harry Potter, but still awesome.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: im chipper!

Stranger: Chipper looked at his watch and realised he didn't have long

Stranger: His father would return any minute and find him there

You: he dashed out the door

You: but he tripped

You: on his shoelace (how lame)

Stranger: Chipper got up and brushed himself off, behind him he heard his father cry

You: SON GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE NOW

You: chipper looked over his shoulder meekly and...

Stranger: Said, "not again daddy" chipper pulled a knife from his pocket

You: and started peeling the apple in his hand

Stranger: Chipper inserted the peeled apple into his

You: dad's nostril

Stranger: Lmao

You: the apple peel came alive!

You: and ate away all his dad's boogers

You: dad said:

Stranger: Chipper you mother fucking whore, look what you have done"!!!! Chippers dad realised it was too late. The apple peel grew into an almighty beast

You: it let out a terrible roar and said to chipper:

Stranger: Chipper, I love you. Take me to bed

You: chipper gave the monster some chocolate chip cookies and a glass of milk

You: and read where the wild things are

You: soon the monster was fast asleep and at that point chipper went over to his father's mangled corpse

Stranger: Knelt down and sobbed. Chipper said a prayer and returned to monster

You: by monster was gone! in its place was

You: the*

Stranger: An enormous black dildo, chipper knew what he had to do

You: he got the fish sauce and poured it all over the dildo

You: then he go the wok

You: got*

Stranger: Chipper chopped the dildo into tiny pieces and placed them in a wok at medium heat

You: and started to sautee like fuckin bobby flay

You: he took a bite of the dildo

You: and turned into a ken doll with disproportionate plastic pectorals

Stranger: Lol

Stranger: Ken walked out the house completly naked and

You: looked down...good god! he had no penis!

Stranger: Ken knew what he had to do, he got his bike from the garage and took off

You: i was on the search for a penis

You: he biked and biked and finally arrived at

Stranger: A giant barbie factory in the heart of Texas

You: he rushed to the manager of the factory

You: he wanted to ask her where he could get the man hardware he needed but was distracted by her disproportionate plastic boobs

Stranger: Ken leaned over the counter and whispered in her ear

You: did they make you a special bra? cuz those things are uneven

Stranger: Cindy looked at ken with disgust, she pulled a double barrel shot gun from under the counter

You: it was pink

You: she shot it and glitter came out

You: ken said: omg! its ke$ha!

Stranger: Ken tried to wipe the glitter from his eyes but there was not use. The glitter blinded ken and cindy knew it

You: she popped off his plastic head

Stranger: Smiles and popped on s brand new head, but this was the head of...!

You: buzz lightyear

Stranger: Buzz couldn't believe his luck as he stared at cindys boobs, he asked her..

You: want to go back to my spaceship babe?

Stranger: She laughed and said "buzz, it's not real. Get the fuck out of here"

You: he yelled BITCH!

You: then he blasted her with

Stranger: Citric acid, melting her face. Cindy screamed and fell to the ground

You: buzz stole her jimmy choos and blasted off

You: he sold the shoes for 500 dollars and bought himself

Stranger: A oneway ticket to England, he knew what he had to do

You: buy himself a penis

You: bc british penises are beyond superior...woody told him that

Stranger: And woody was never wrong. Buzz arrived at heathrow airport, he knew he needed to buy a new penis, but from where? This was a strange land

You: suddenly it hit him...diagon alley!

Stranger: Yes if course. Diagon ally, the only place left on earth that could perform a penis transplant

You: but with luck it could be achieved by a wand

Stranger: Buzz called for a cab, he couldn't believe who was driving

You: DUMBLEDORE

Stranger: Dumbledore asked buzz if he wanted any

You: butterbeer

You: buzz said yes and poured it on his crotch

You: TADA!

You have disconnected.

harry potter should motivate you to diet

On June 28th, I was not at the Harry Potter theme park. No, I was at work, I believe, bored out of my mind and wishing I was at Honeyduke's or Zonko's. As I daydreamed about Ollivander and perhaps a magical moment when I united with the perfect wand, and finally tasting butterbeer, some lucky souls were stepping through the gates, gazing up at the formidable structure of Hogwarts.

Imagine that you have been a Harry Potter fan since the beginning of time. Imagine that you waited for this day in apprehension and read the fourth book for the tenth time so you could memorize the names of the dragons. Imagine that you specially ordered new shoes that were both comfortable and matched the set of Quidditch robes you would be sure to purchase. The morning of June 28, you wake up with stars practically shooting out of your eyes, and you run to your parents' bedroom to shake them awake as if it's Christmas, only better. June 28 dethrones December 25 as the best day ever. 

Finally, you step into the wonderland of Harry Potter perfection. The first thing you want to do is ride "Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey". The line seems to move as slowly as Ron's crappy broom, but you are finally at the front of the line. Just as you are about to climb into the Chariot of Eternal Happiness aka the roller coaster, a park official stops you with a tanned, beefy arm. "I'm sorry, young lady, but I'm afraid you will not be able to ride today."

Internally, you laugh. What does he mean? "The safety seat is not big enough to accommodate you. I'm sorry, but you are too fat to ride." 

...

Okay, pause on the hypothetical situation and flowery descriptions. There are people complaining that they didn't get to ride the roller coaster because they were too big, which is understandable. However, I would think of that terrible moment to be a wake up call. If I was too fat to get on the roller coaster of my dreams, I would have an immediate epiphany and start to get my size under control right away. If something as simple as your weight is getting in the way of your Harry Potter dream, shouldn't you take hold of that and change it? It's amazing that the United States is the fattest country in the entire world because we have the widest variety of food selection available. I see more and more overweight and obese men, women, and children every day, and it's unhealthy. Being rejected my flipping HARRY POTTER would motivate anybody to go to the gym.

Source: http://www.aolnews.com/weird-news/article/fat-harry-potter-fans-turned-away-from-forbidden-journey-ride-at-wizarding-world-theme-park/19528135

Summer Bliss

I feel so guilty for not blogging regularly but summertime is starting to become even more hectic than the school year! I promise a quality post sometime in the near future...meaning sometime this week. Meanwhile, I'm going to go chill with my cousins. I just had a weekend at the beach, which didn't really affect my strange tan lines...good I guess.

Hey lovelies!

The start of summer has been so busy! I am so sorry I haven't been able to post a quality blogpost in awhile, but I'm here just to let you know I'm still alive and well. I have been having a great time with the family and the wonderful friends, in addition to working. Hopefully I will have some time to blog some more, but I would just like to thank all of you lovely people for reading. I now have views from NINE DIFFERENT COUNTRIES BETCH. So I am pretty excited...I recently edited this photo of a dear friend of mine. I really love it and I think it defines my summer so far! Enjoy the sunshine, darlings.

Almost Summertime!

I'm soooo excited for summer! I don't think I have ever wanted school to end this badly. I can't wait for the bikinis, beaches, boys, and all nighters for things other than studying. My energy levels are over the top right now even though I have three final exams left, so I'm bouncing off the walls. I have a good feeling about this summer :)
Well...I guess it might have something to do with the great opportunities I have been fortunate enough to get involved in, and perhaps a certain someone? Don't get excited...yet.

Blog Binge Part Two

As promised, more thoughts on some of the blog posts I've read over the last couple of days. For all of you who think I should be studying, think about when you feel braindead and get food to replenish yourself. Well, it's the same thing for me, but I blog instead. Be grateful because I'm providing entertainment for more people than your gorging on peanuts. All of my thoughts on this post are from Project Rungay, one of the best blogs in the entire freaking world. YOU MUST READ IT.

Diane Von Furstenberg Resort 2010
That woman is a genius. I don't think I have ever been disappointed by any one of her collections. It was pretty hard to pick just a couple of my favorites, but here goes!

Look at that print...that's DVF greatness right there. I don't like the shoes though...unfortunately those are present throughout the entire collection. But who cares? That romper is the epitome of romper greatness. 

Ahhhh I want this! It would look really good on tall people though, meaning I could never pull this off. I love the sheer fabric on the straps and hem and the print. How I love black and white...

My obsession with stripes! I actually don't own that many stripes because I'm very picky about them. I couldn't pull this dress off either because it's a bit too voluminous for my short little self, but I would love to see it on some people I know.

I want that sweater. And those shorts. And the shoes. I want it allllll! I think this is my favorite look of the whole collection though I only picked a couple out of the whole lot I saw on Project Rungay. Check the link for a complete post from Tom and Lorenzo.

Oscar de la Renta Resort 2010

I was really surprised by this collection because I usually think about opulent gowns and classic red carpet silhouettes when I hear Oscar de la Renta. However, this is my second favorite resort collection so far.

Unlike the styling of the DVF show, I really like the boater hats and the shoes. Love love love the dress and little jacket. And those shoes are really cool. I guess I just love classic things.

Polka dots at their finest. The only thing I don't like about this look is the red clutch...a little cliche, don't you think?

Not liking the shoes are the bug-eye sunglasses but the rest is nice. This dress would look bangin on me. 

It reminds me of South Beach, but in a good way. I just noticed that the models are all deathly pale, which is kind of cool since so many people are obsessing over tanning and such. I wish there could have been a wider variety of ethnic models though.

Orange is my least favorite color but this is really pretty. I don't think I would be flattering for anybody but this model though. If it came in green, more people would be able to wear it.

It's a little out of nowhere and she looks like she's dying from wearing a corset, but it's a fabulous dress. Could've done without the choker though...so 90s!

Hot damn. On second thought, I might like this collection a teensy bit more than DVF, because it somehow progressed from very nautical to goth. There was a wide range of styles covered, but the progression was very smooth. Check the link for more.

Blog Binge Part One

Sooo much new material from all the blogs I read (check the sidebar for a complete list). I could leave a long comment on every single one of those wonderful posts I read but I would rather share it with my lovely readers that hopefully have not abandoned me. This is also a great opportunity for you all to know what my favorite blogs are! I read mostly fashion blogs but I do like some other random ones about social issues, politics, etc. Anyways, let's get started on summarizing my experiences this week by referring to other blogs:

Alejandro music video by Lady Gaga
Okay, I saw something about on Yahoo, talking about how it was commenting on sexuality and gay rights. It also said that it was pretty tame for a Gaga video. Uhhh...false. I thought that video was some scary shit right there. I get that Lady Gaga is avant garde and fabulous for it, but her videos are just an overload that I can't really understand. Plus, it was like watching porn that they have in museums and call performance art. Basically she was humping everybody and there were habits and lace and gahhhh. You all probably know about Tavi aka the Style Rookie because she's a brilliant blogger even though she has only just graduated from middle school. Her post about the video was pretty interesting so click and enjoy!

Megan Fox in Interview Magazine
I have never read this magazine before but Tom and Lorenzo (Project Rungay) did a post on her photo shoot with them. The photography is freaking amazing! I hate Megan Fox but the idea behind this shoot was so interesting and the finished images are arresting.

My favorite out of all the ones I saw. It's so cool!

You can definitely tell there was some crazy Photoshopping done here. Look at her neck! It looks really unnatural but that enhances the whole effect of the photo. Overall, this editorial was very successful at getting the message across.

Shoes!

Karla's Closet is my favorite personal style blog. She is just so gorgeous and has the coolest style ever. I love her shoes. Carrie Bradshaw can go die in a hole. She recently designed a bag for Coach along with three other style bloggers, and I was disappointed in it because I really didn't like it that much. Anyways, here are some shoes she bought while in New York promoting the line: 

Aren't they gorgeous? I want these.

Lea Michele

Project Rungay always does "In/Out" things with celebrities on the red carpet and I usually agree with the exception of this one time. 

Okay, her hair is weird. Every since she got the bangs I keep on feeling as though one of her eyes is going to pop out because that hair is just way too long to be considered normal bangs. I like this dress. Call me crazy, but the nude/lingerie trend together is actually kind of cool. I especially like the top...comment to let me know if you agree!

That concludes part one. Don't worry, I have a million more things to blog about including Glee, Oscar de la Renta, and my personal issues. Keep reading!

Great day on OMEGLE

I usually have maybe 2 good conversations that are post-worthy on Omegle but today I had lots more! I won't post them all at once because I don't want too much of a good thing haha! They aren't all about Harry Potter but properly awesome nevertheless :)

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: o hi

You: who cares about canada?

Stranger: honestly

You: they have like nothing

Stranger: theres a few people there i think

You: just syrup and quesadilla doritos

Stranger: gross

You: not together dummy

Stranger: they play hockey and eat bacon and syrup

Stranger: thats about it

You: hockey is boring

Stranger: usa is much better

You: bacon is gross

You: but the syrup is good

You: definitely we are

Stranger: we are teh superior rac

Stranger: reace

Stranger: race

You: except for the president...blech

You: american isnt a race

You: duh

Stranger: hes so sexy though!

You: hello obamagirl

Stranger: um, obama MAN

Stranger: i'm in my 20's for petssaks!

You: oh...im 872

Stranger: lucky

You: yea i know

Stranger: i bet you know the entire history

You: yupp

Stranger: tell me something i didnt already know about

Stranger: TELL ME

You: the declaration of independence was actually written by benedict arnold

Stranger: o_o

Stranger: shit

You: which was why the war of 1812 happened

Stranger: i'm moving to canada

You: noooo

You: you will die from all the bacon!

Stranger: how can i NOT move to canada now?

You: and the universal health care!

Stranger: health care will kill me?

You: yea...universal health care sucks

Stranger: it kills people!?!

You: DA DUM DA DUM DA DUM DA DUM DA DUM.....COMMUNISM!

Stranger: communism is for dang hippies!

You: that was the jaws theme btw

Stranger: o

You: i remember to hippies back in the day...

Stranger: you started the hippies didnt you?

You: they hated me bc i fought in vietnam

Stranger: sheeeeeeeit

You: yea i know LEGIT

Stranger: did you get to meet saddam hussein

Stranger: TELL ME

You: yes

Stranger: called it

Stranger: how do you type when you could blow away in the dust at any second?

Stranger: this is my first time using omegle to tell you the truth

Stranger: i started out using omegle

Stranger: i mean

Stranger: i started out using trollegle

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: hey

You: hello

You: asl

Stranger: asl

You: i asked first :)

Stranger: 17m

You: 16f

You: not a pedophile i swear

Stranger: u horny

Stranger: kk

You: i just did laundry

Stranger: really

You: yes

Stranger: so what are u wearing now

You: my quidditch robes

You: BETCH

You have disconnected.

Stranger: horny guy looks out for horny girl

You: turn around, walk 10 feet, take a right, go up the stairs, walk 7 feet, turn left, and find porn under your bed

You: there ya go

The oh so sad blogger :(

It seems as though all you lovely people are MIA. I have been going through a blogging dry spell, feeling totally uninspired and as a result, my lovely readers have thus abandoned me. I am feeling quite braindead from cramming endless amounts of useless information into my brain in order to get a teeny tiny little letter on a bit of paper called a report card. I hope that once finals and school is over, I will start feeling more inspired and post better things on this blog, and you all will return! For now, I think I'll go weep into my chemistry binder as I recite the dates of several political revolutions in a monotone, sorrowful voice. Be well, my nonexistent readers!

Pet Peeve 4- Tanning

The pool is finally open! Though I didn't get to go to the beach this Memorial Day weekend as planned, I will be going the weekend after school lets out so I'm super excited. However, I'm going to be majorly pissed at all those people tanning at the beach. Grrrrr....

I don't get it. Why do people go to the beach just to tan? I guess it's fine if you wantto get a little sun after swimming or something, but people spend tons of money flying to exotic beaches and don't do anything but sleep and read magazines once they get there. Tanning isn't good for you, yet tons of people are still obsessed with getting tan. IT'S CALLED CANCER. Personally, I get really tan really quickly as it is, so I'm not about to expose myself to more cancer causing UV rays.