harry potter EPIPHANY

So remember how everyone was making a huge deal out of Twilight and how it was compared to Adam and Eve and the Garden of Eden blah blah blah? Well I just realized a connection to the Bible in Harry Potter. Nope, it's not about good versus evil or anything. My Harry Potter epiphany is:

THE TRINITY=HORCRUX

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Get it?
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So I guess if you're still reading that means you haven't figured it out yet. But a certain somebody with the initials SE told me all about Jesus and God and the Holy Spirit and how they were all part of the Holy Trinity. As soon as I heard that, I was like OMFG because it reminded me of how Voldemort divided himself into seven Horcruxes so he could be virtually indestructible. Tom Riddle's diary, the Hufflepuff cup, etc. were all part of Voldemort just like the Trinity consists of God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit.

In conclusion, JK Rowling beats Stephanie Meyer. Everybody writes about the Garden of Eden so it gets a little boring. But Miss Genius JK thought of a less obvious connection that is much stronger and therefore rocks my world. This epiphany is further proof that Harry Potter is the best thing ever and his Creator is a genius. Anyone who comments on this saying that Twilight is better will be subjugated to SECTUMSEMPRA.

More Harry Potter Omegle FUN? I think yes :)

Apparently you guys really like it when I go on Omegle and express my love for Harry Potter to other people. I'm happy to entertain :) But seriously, go study for AP World History.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: I GOT MY LETTER FROM HOGWARTS

Stranger: !!!!

Stranger: Mine hasn't come in yet D:

You: noooo

You: i wish we were going together

Stranger: Me as well ! Well maybe mine will still come . >.<

Stranger: What house do YOU wanna get into ?

You: look out the window! i see an owl

You: GRYFFINDOR BETCH

Stranger: :O :O

Stranger: I got it !!

You: NO WAY

Stranger: Hurray ! :D

Stranger: I am in !

You: ahhhh

Stranger: Wait what ??

Stranger: Nooo.

Stranger: We can't be friends .

You: how come??

Stranger: I am going to be put in slytherin.

You: sick bastard

You: AVADA KEDAVRA

Stranger: bitch . it bounced off of me and i got a scar .

Stranger: But I AM NOT DEAD :D

You: harry potter 2??

Stranger: Yessirry :D

You: i dont think so

Stranger: I am invincible .

You: its bc ur so FAT

You: HAHAHAHAHA PWNEDDD

Stranger: And I am hotter then any Harry Potter out there !

Stranger: Sectusempra !!! muahahha

You: im oozing kool aid

You: fail

Stranger: >.>

Stranger: Anyway, I must head out to diagon alley to purchase my school books . See you at Hogwarts . !

You: or at the train station!

You: platform 9.75

Stranger: Dont hit the wall!

You: thanks for being a fellow harry potter freak

Stranger: HEY ! We are not freaks . We are just really excited to learn magic :D

You: yes

You: i like the way you think

Stranger: Thank you ! Anyway , see you ! !!!

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

**********

You: luna lovegood here

Stranger: hell no

Stranger: i am not harry potter

Stranger: what a coincidence

You: i was looking for ron actually

Stranger: hes into milfs

You: pardon?

Stranger: sorry to break it to you

You: im afraid i cant quite grasp your meaning

Stranger: me neither really

Stranger: can i ask you something

Stranger: ?

Stranger: where is the universe?

You: in my head

**********

Stranger: hey

You: i caught the snitch!

Stranger: i caught ur mom in bed.....with me

**********

Stranger: hi

You: i play quidditch yo

Stranger: shit is dis ron?

You: nope its cho from ravenclaw

Stranger: shit man cho

Stranger: hows you doing biatch?

You: I CAUGHT THE SNITCH

You: and i ditched harry

Stranger: good stuff maaan

Stranger: so which fella you knobbing these days?

You: cedric diggory duhh

Stranger: but that brother is dead liek

You: HE IS???

Stranger: voldemort zapped that nigga

Stranger: yuh

Stranger: yous been knobbing a dead bloke liek

You: OH NO

You: is harry still alive?

Stranger: yea but he's shagging ginny

You: darn

You: so who can i date now?

Stranger: hermoine

Stranger: herione

Stranger: hermione

Stranger: her

You: im a girl

Stranger: interracial lesbian

You: sorry no

Stranger: =[

Stranger: i wants lesbians!

You: hmm the only gay person in hogwarts is dumbledore

Stranger: i wonder if he's bummed snape

Stranger: or threatened to do so

You: but ur snape

Stranger: oh shi-

Stranger: D:

Stranger: gtg

Stranger: dumbledore

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I have decided to drop out of high school to...

work at the WIZARDING WORLD OF HARRY POTTER.

I never even realized that there are people who actually get to spend their entire day literally surrounded by Harry Potter amazingness and get paid for it. The park opens on June 18 but I have to wait until December to go. But...if my master plan works out I will be working as the girl who plays Cho by September. Instead of outlining Chapter 30, I have come up with the following plan of escape:

Now-end of school year: I will be continuing with this pointless and extremely stressful education and get my desired GPA, a 5 on the AP World History Exam, and spend my spare time rereading and heavily annotating all the Harry Potter books. I need to be smart, because after all, Cho is a Ravenclaw and everybody knows Ravenclaws are the brainiacs.

June: Screw jobs, internships, volunteer opportunities. I will not be going to the beach or the pool because everybody at Hogwarts is deathly pale due to their endless hours of making Polyjuice Potion. I will also practice writing with a quill.

July: Cho is the Seeker of the Ravenclaw Quidditch team, so I'm going to need to practice my vision skills. Since I am too broke for even a Nimbus 2000, I'm going to have to settle for a broomstick and a penny painted green that I can hide in the grass and try to find with my sharp eyes.

August: Time to head for Florida. I will write a kick-ass essay about how great Harry Potter is (which it is) and get the job as Cho.

September-end of time: I will spend my days living my dream. Unless that letter from Hogwarts really does come someday...I'm still hoping.

Harry Potter on Omegle FUN

Omegle is about the best thing ever. You talk to strangers with absolutely no consequences at all! Of course, I annoy all the horny people and talk about Harry Potter instead :) Posted below are some of the best results:

Stranger: Hey

You: hullo i am a wizard and i am a gryffindor

Stranger: ron weasly?

You: howd u guess?

You: arent i an absolutely fabulous keeper?

Stranger: well after youd get slipped the lucky potion shit, but really its a placebo affect, then your decent

Stranger: i know my potter

You: the power of suggestion my friend...its that hermoine chick that gets me all distracted

Stranger: quite the babe

You: i recently went on my first visit to the states but i set off the airport metal detector with my bludger

Stranger: nice dued

*****

Stranger: heey cutie =)

You: i play quidditch wanna join?

Stranger: what's that?

You: AVADA KEDAVRA

*****

Stranger: its the eye of the tiger

You: EXPELLIARMUS

Stranger: its the thrill of the fight

Stranger: HARRY POTTER YUM!!!!!!

Stranger: shit, now i dont have a wand with which do do my magicy stuff

You: awesome i win draco

Stranger: DAMNIT!

Stranger: i hate you, harry.

Stranger: but its a good thing im just a coward and wont kil dumbledor

You: omg draco look luna lovegood is coming

Stranger: i forget what to do next!

You: PETRIFICUS TOTALUS

You: revenge for the train jerkface

Stranger: BITCH

You: yea thats right

You: oh, and u suck at quidditch

*****

Stranger: hhkjl

You: gosh what is that mysterious ticking noise?

Stranger: Susan Boyle.

You: snape snape severus snape

Stranger: EXPECTO PATRONUM

You: DUMBLEDORE

Stranger: I FREAKING LOVE HARRY POTTER

You: ron ron ron WEASLEY

You: hermoine

Stranger: Jeez louise.

*****