Pet Peeve 3-Conversational Retards

I have a very low tolerance for annoying people, especially those who have no real purpose in the conversation they wish to hold with you. My NT and I were discussing the incredible annoyance of asinine questions that have absolutely no relevance and contribute nothing to the conversation. I also hate people who can't say anything intersting to save their life.

How was your weekend?
How long did that last?
How much did it cost?
Wasn't it far?
What did you bring?
What did you wear?
Did you wear socks?
Where do you buy your socks?
Were they expensive?
What type of detergent do you use to wash your socks?
What scent is the detergent?

DO YOU SEE HOW ANNOYING THAT IS????

As for the conversational retards aspect, if you don't have an interesting response, don't bother saying anything.

Me: How was your weekend?
Person X: You know that tree in my yard? No. I don't know that tree in your yard. They cut it down! It's so sad! So what you're telling me is that you did absolutely nothing this weekend. You think the fact that some guys who came and chopped down a tree constitutes an intersting aspect of your weekend that will somehow lead to a conversation with me. 
Me: Oh. What else am I supposed to say?

I also hate stupid observations that are totally obvious. Things such as describing the surrounding area or the weather count as stupid observations because I could have come up with that on my own. Hello, I have eyes.

Look, the soccer team is running.
Oh no, it's raining.
It's windy.
That guy has a blue shirt on.
My toes are green.
They are cutting down my tree.

Pet Peeve 2- Adjusting Your Junk

By junk, you all know what I mean. We all agree that it's gross, but guys do it all the time. I will be sitting in class and then I realize a fraction of the boys absentmindedly scratching, rearranging, or doing some other gross thing with their man hardware. You don't see girls adjusting their boobs all the time, so what's so inconvenient male organs that they have to be constantly adjusted? If, it's itchy, at least scratch it discreetly. I mean, it's like scratching your butt. You would never do that walking down the hall, but guys find it okay to scratch their area in the middle of conversations and as they walk. It's not proof that you have a large...anything. It's proof that you need to see a doctor because you obviously have some sort of infection down there.

If you're wondering why you aren't getting laid, it's because girls aren't attracted to itchy guys. So stop it.

Pet Peeve 1-"Finding yourself"

The other day I read a very frustrating article about a senior who had fallen on some rough times during her high school career and decided to defer college for a year and go backpacking in Europe in order to "find herself".

That's the most amazingly stupid and annoying bullshit I have ever heard of.

First of all, there's no such thing as finding yourself. That cliche is a complete gimmick made up by Oprah and psychologists in conjunction with travel agencies in order to pump out money from tortured souls who feel they need to tan topless on a beach in Greece to understand the meaning of life. So many people have this fear of losing direction in their lives that they feel the urge to do something out of the ordinary to fulfill themselves. Newsflash: We're all humans, not Moses. Our lives are not about parting the Red Sea and hearing the voice of God. If that happens to occur at some point during your life, whoopee for you, but living your life without such an event is perfectly fine. 

I think as Americans, we don't realize how incredibly lucky we are. We have access to the most amazing life compared to the rest of the world. Since we don't embrace this, we start looking for more, convincing our spoiled-brat-selves that what we have is not enough. I understand that there are some people out there depressed, lonely, and hopeless, but you have not lost yourself. Even if you think that, you are not a poor lost soul for God's sake. You are lucky to be alive and it's selfish to think that you need to go to Tuscany for some soul searching.

My advice for those people packing up for that backpacking trip to Europe? Look in the mirror. If you don't like what you see, take care of a real poor soul. And appreciate life and embrace it fully, because that's what living is all about.