Marketing Idea: Iphone SIX

I can't wait for the Iphone Six to come out. Not because it will probably be able to do a billion things including making muffins or having a mind of its own, but I have the most brilliant marketing strategy for it. I got this idea awhile ago, and it just now occurred to my that I should publish it to the world in hopes someone with connections to Apple will hook me up.

Let's think about the word SIX. S_X. In that space, any vowel can fit in and make sense, therefore creating a multitude of brilliant marketing campaigns for this model.

Iphone SAX
This could be the new itunes. The iphone SAX store will have a wider variety of options for iphone users exclusively, such as a karaoke-like feature, highlighting the lyrics as they are sung so you can sing along too! There should also be tracks of unsigned artists, underground musicians, up-and-coming DJs, and special apps to mix your own tunes. The iphone SAX would make music even more personal by adding to the mainstream culture. It will also give iphone users a special feeling of having exclusive access to this new niche. Regular users will be urged to buy the iphone in order to gain access to the iphone SAX.

Iphone SEX
Of course, this isn't exactly audience-friendly, but it's extremely marketable. The entire culture of young adults and teenagers is sex. Hellooo "that's what she said" is used about 6549879x a day. Yes, that's a proven statistic. Anyways, iphone SEX would be all about whatever users want it to mean. Every inappropriate but irresistible app would fall under this category. It would also open up a black market for the iphone, full of racy and risque iphone cases made of silk and lace, and clever contraptions that incorporate condoms in some way.

Iphone SIX
This is the umbrella for all the other aspects of the iphone. Can't you picture commercials of "IPHONE SIX" and then the middle letter changing along with background images associated with each branch? This is a whole different type of commercial we're bringing to the market. Instead of the hand model demonstrating the amazing touchscreen and multitude of apps, the iphone SIX would make commercials like mini movies, flaunting not what the iphone can do for you, but what you can do with the iphone. Watching an iphone SIX commercial should be a cinematic experience.

Iphone SOX
If you think about it, only Americans really wear socks. European men dress in fancy Italian loafers with no dress socks to hide their tanned, hairy ankles, and no one even bothers wearing gym socks. Therefore, we can establish to the American tradition of socks using iphone SOX, cases for the iphone that will charge it using solar energy. And like Mary Poppins, Apple will develop the technology to make iphone SOX virtually unlimited in storage space, so we eliminate the entire purse market in an instant. By dominating the purse market, we have captured every female customer ages 0.1-1000. Not only that, but guys hate huge purses, the iphone SOX will be the hottest gift item for anniversaries, birthdays, and weddings, for years to come.

Iphone SUX
Probably the least marketable out of all aspects, but it is the most audience friendly. People LOVE complaining. If there isn't anything to complain about, the human nature finds something. iphone SUX will be part of an initiative to include consumers in the development of future models. Also, whenever a suggestion that has merit is made, one is awarded a lollipop to suck on. SUX.

Clearly Steve Jobs has never thought of such an amazing idea, so I'm happy to hand this over in exchange for lots of cool Apple gadgets. I should patent this, seriously. This is probably my most brilliant idea ever, which is pretty sad, since it's extremely random. Anyways, to those at Apple, pick up on this. If the iphone SIX comes out without lots of vowels attached, I'm getting a Blackberry.