THE WORLD'S BEST OMEGLE CONVERSATION

Not about Harry Potter, but still awesome.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: im chipper!

Stranger: Chipper looked at his watch and realised he didn't have long

Stranger: His father would return any minute and find him there

You: he dashed out the door

You: but he tripped

You: on his shoelace (how lame)

Stranger: Chipper got up and brushed himself off, behind him he heard his father cry

You: SON GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE NOW

You: chipper looked over his shoulder meekly and...

Stranger: Said, "not again daddy" chipper pulled a knife from his pocket

You: and started peeling the apple in his hand

Stranger: Chipper inserted the peeled apple into his

You: dad's nostril

Stranger: Lmao

You: the apple peel came alive!

You: and ate away all his dad's boogers

You: dad said:

Stranger: Chipper you mother fucking whore, look what you have done"!!!! Chippers dad realised it was too late. The apple peel grew into an almighty beast

You: it let out a terrible roar and said to chipper:

Stranger: Chipper, I love you. Take me to bed

You: chipper gave the monster some chocolate chip cookies and a glass of milk

You: and read where the wild things are

You: soon the monster was fast asleep and at that point chipper went over to his father's mangled corpse

Stranger: Knelt down and sobbed. Chipper said a prayer and returned to monster

You: by monster was gone! in its place was

You: the*

Stranger: An enormous black dildo, chipper knew what he had to do

You: he got the fish sauce and poured it all over the dildo

You: then he go the wok

You: got*

Stranger: Chipper chopped the dildo into tiny pieces and placed them in a wok at medium heat

You: and started to sautee like fuckin bobby flay

You: he took a bite of the dildo

You: and turned into a ken doll with disproportionate plastic pectorals

Stranger: Lol

Stranger: Ken walked out the house completly naked and

You: looked down...good god! he had no penis!

Stranger: Ken knew what he had to do, he got his bike from the garage and took off

You: i was on the search for a penis

You: he biked and biked and finally arrived at

Stranger: A giant barbie factory in the heart of Texas

You: he rushed to the manager of the factory

You: he wanted to ask her where he could get the man hardware he needed but was distracted by her disproportionate plastic boobs

Stranger: Ken leaned over the counter and whispered in her ear

You: did they make you a special bra? cuz those things are uneven

Stranger: Cindy looked at ken with disgust, she pulled a double barrel shot gun from under the counter

You: it was pink

You: she shot it and glitter came out

You: ken said: omg! its ke$ha!

Stranger: Ken tried to wipe the glitter from his eyes but there was not use. The glitter blinded ken and cindy knew it

You: she popped off his plastic head

Stranger: Smiles and popped on s brand new head, but this was the head of...!

You: buzz lightyear

Stranger: Buzz couldn't believe his luck as he stared at cindys boobs, he asked her..

You: want to go back to my spaceship babe?

Stranger: She laughed and said "buzz, it's not real. Get the fuck out of here"

You: he yelled BITCH!

You: then he blasted her with

Stranger: Citric acid, melting her face. Cindy screamed and fell to the ground

You: buzz stole her jimmy choos and blasted off

You: he sold the shoes for 500 dollars and bought himself

Stranger: A oneway ticket to England, he knew what he had to do

You: buy himself a penis

You: bc british penises are beyond superior...woody told him that

Stranger: And woody was never wrong. Buzz arrived at heathrow airport, he knew he needed to buy a new penis, but from where? This was a strange land

You: suddenly it hit him...diagon alley!

Stranger: Yes if course. Diagon ally, the only place left on earth that could perform a penis transplant

You: but with luck it could be achieved by a wand

Stranger: Buzz called for a cab, he couldn't believe who was driving

You: DUMBLEDORE

Stranger: Dumbledore asked buzz if he wanted any

You: butterbeer

You: buzz said yes and poured it on his crotch

You: TADA!

You have disconnected.