Unorthodox Christmas 2010

Family vacations are complex events. Most of the time at home, I'm so busy that I'm not always aware of my family. I can always resort to the homework excuse to avoid all conflict, but during a fifteen hour car ride and a two bedroom timeshare that seems to grow smaller and smaller with each argument, family vacations remind you that conflict is unavoidable.

Let me give you a rough idea of an Asian family vacation, particularly my family: We argue. All the time. About the stupidest things. We blew a bunch of money to go to Florida for Christmas, breaking the tradition of throwing a huge Christmas party with tons of presents and booze. We drove South, where people at rest stops would look at me strangely because I guess yellow people are rare in the Deep South. Anyways, we took about 1039841 rest stops and argued about 23048 times.

On Christmas day, we followed an itinerary of weird things to do on Christmas:

1. We went to a Buddhist temple. Temple is nice and all, but it's the most random thing to do on the Holy Day of Christ. I felt like I was trying to piss Jesus off or something, by going to temple and saying, "Oh yeah? The son of God was born today? Well guess what I have TEMPLE TOFU betches".
2. Then we went orange picking and acted really cheap and Asian by trying to stuff as many grapefruits into the $10 bag as possible. There were a bunch of arguments. Stealing was contemplated.
3. We went to the Asian district to eat (of course) and then talked to the two gay waiters. 
4. We got home and more arguing ensued. Us kids got kind of sick of it and decided to check out the Jacuzzi. There were kind of creepy people there.

In short, we put those Jews and their Chinese food to shame. 

Christmas Wish List

True happiness is forever. Most happiness people will be getting this Christmas will be over once those boots become unfashionable six months later, once that new ipod breaks, or once that goldfish dies. True happiness is something unwrappable. It's big enough to put smiles on faces of many different people, but small enough to tuck into the pocket of your heart to carry around every single day.

Christmas is undoubtedly a time for materialism and temporary happiness. All these companies encourage you to donate money towards causes so they will look good in the public eye. For example, in order to donate $10 dollars towards clean water in villages in Uganda, you first have to buy $50 of merchandise. There isn't anything wrong with that, but you have to be aware that these companies are capitalizing on your desire to help other people.

I really don't have a lot of money, but I think spreading happiness around this time of year is more about thinking about people you love. Happiness and love go hand in hand, and that's what the Christmas spirit is really about. This year I am not asking for new boots or giftcards. I'm asking Santa to carry my message of love to people I care about.

Dear Santa,

HIV/AIDS is painful and confusing for children. The pain is not only from the illness that they must fight, but the absence of stability in a lifetime. Please listen to the hopes and dreams of the children I came to know and fall in love with at the Mai Tam Center in Saigon, Vietnam. I think a smile lasting a day will make up for many days of hurt.

Love, Linh

Why I Hate Snow

Prior to this ridiculously cold December, I had to the idea that perhaps I could got to college in New England or New York, because that area kind of evokes some sort of cosmopolitan, intellectual vibe that the snobbish side of me wishes to be a part of. I pictured myself sitting beside the harbor at Boston College, not worrying a bit about the $45,000 tuition, but instead enjoying a leather-bound hardcover with small print, being the alleged intellectual that I am. Anyways, this image was ruined as the great gust of wind that is Winter 2010 hit me in the face as I stepped outside. That was when I realized that there is no fucking way I'm going to torture myself with the winter weather of the intellectual North. Leather-bound books or not, Virginia winter is bad enough. I can't imagine winter at Syracuse...think of all the snow...ew. 

Every time I tell people I hate snow, they look as me as if I just killed Santa or committed some other mortal sin (although I did tell my entire first grade class the truth about Santa). Snow is nice to look at...for about an hour. Then it starts to freeze up and get really slippery and hard, which means I have to wear some ridiculous winter attire just to freeze my ass off chipping away at frozen water. I loved getting out of school early today, but  I would've rather gotten out for a sandstorm or something. It's not even that I hate snow because I have to shovel, but it loses its initial appeal after the first day. People start walking on it, and dogs start pooping on it, and it just looks as though this beautiful white angel was raped and killed viciously. 

Not to mention what snowy weather does to me. The cold air makes my skin really really dry, so I put on lots of lotion that makes my face sting, and I still have weird white flecks on my face of peeling skin. And I hate having to wear socks all the time, because they make my feet chronically smelly. And then I have to go through the trouble of drying my hair before going outside. In Vietnam, I would take a shower and go outside for 5 minutes, and then it would all be gone. It's nature's blow dryer. Winter clothing sucks because you wear all these layers and you still feel cold and for some reason really dirty all the time even though the stupid snow traps you indoors. AND BOOTS. Don't get my started on snow boots. I feel like a freaking astronaut when I'm wearing snow boots.

I could go on. But you get the idea...I don't like snow, so sue me. You know what? PUCK YOU HOMO.

P.S. The image above is deceitful. I was actually having a terrible time...it was during Snowmaggedon of last year aka The Worst Time Of My Life.

Inspirational Images As Of Late

alltheprettybirds.blogspot.com

I want those railroad-stripe pants. I love anything striped and I'm convinced I could pull these off. 

thestylecrusader.org

A ring designed by British-Vietnamese designer Elizabeth Lau. It's so delicate and geometric, which is exactly the type of thing I'm into right now. 

Tom and Lorenzo

Only DARREN CRISS FROM A VERY POTTER MUSICAL NOT GLEE could make a bow tie and sweater look cute. And I love his shoes which he wore with...

...a suit. TLo hated it, but I love it. I also loved that he actually repeated an item of clothing, unlike other consuming celebrities. 

Atlantic City Summer 2010

I am adamantly taking a stand against cold weather. Remember summertime? I miss it. 

5 Things I Find Myself Doing for No Reason...And Then End Up Wasting 15 Minutes

1. I sit/stand on my memory foam pillow until it's flat and then I watch it rise up again. It's kind of like watching bread bake, but on fast forward.
2. I draw designs on my blanket with my finger and then wipe it away with the palm of my hand. It's the type of blanket where if you go against the thread, it gets darker, so I hold this endless fascination with going back and forth across it.
3. A lot of the time I will braid my hair, only to find I have no hair tie, but I'm too lazy to get up. So then I take the braid out and try to focus on what I was doing in the first place, but then I just start braiding the stupid hair again.
4. I stare at my closet for long periods of time for no apparent reason. This is when a lot of my profound thinking occurs, as I ponder the amount of jackets I have versus the amount of camisoles.
5. I am sure everybody does this. I spend a lot of time hanging upside down on my bed for awhile, then getting up to see how dizzy I am. It's a healthy alternative to being a pothead.

Mrs. Kim

Mrs. Kim pulled up in her Toyota Camry and attached that ominous triangular sign onto the top of her car, adjusted the mirrors, and looked at me expectantly.

I looked up at the sign. Student Driver.


Mrs. Kim took my money and I climbed into the left side of the car, and soon we were off, Mrs. Kim and I, putt-putting around the alleyways of Northern Virginia, passing students in various states of insanity as they jogged in the 30 degree weather. Mrs. Kim told me to keep my hands at the 4 and 8, though it sounded more like Ookee Leeeen. Let's keep our haans at dee foh and ahate ookee? Mrs. Kim is Korean.

Mrs. Kim urged me to go longer. It took about five miles to realize that longer meant faster. 

I took that triangle-topped vehicle onto Roberts Road, where I promptly began speeding without even thinking about it. I was going 40 and Mrs. Kim practically had a heart attack. We wish to be going 30 yes?


I like Mrs. Kim. I will be driving in that triangle-topped Toyota again this week. 

Omegle is Amazing

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.

You: hi

Stranger: hiii :D

Stranger: watsup?

You: guess what? im not a perv

You: isnt that refreshing

Stranger: zomg! me neither!

You: ahhhh awesome

Stranger: yay!

You: we should have a totally unpervy conversation

Stranger: indeed!

Stranger: so, where are you from?

You: sadly, boring old america

You: but for the purposes of this conversation i am british and attend hogwarts

Stranger: ok kewl

Stranger: so which house, my little wizard/witch?

You: gryffindor

You: duh

Stranger: but of course

Stranger: soooooooo.................

Stranger: *awkward silence*

You: hbu

You: house?

Stranger: well

Stranger: you see

Stranger: the sorting hat had a bit of trouble reading me

You: so they created a whole new house just for you?

Stranger: no they just told me to flip a four-sided coin

Stranger: and i ended up in ravenpuff

You: HAHAHAHAHA

You: what an oxymoron

Stranger: :D

You: so your mascot is a badger with wings?

Stranger: no it's just a shaved bird with from stripes painted on

Stranger: the economy affectes hogwarts, too, you see

You: our new headmaster is so boss

Stranger: and they couldn't afford to haire a professional graphics artist to design the mascot

Stranger: and hagrid just drew it

You: well hagrid the headmaster at hogwarts=helluva lotta fun

You: weren't you at the last quidditch game?

Stranger: yeah

Stranger: i was the scorekeeper, remember?

Stranger: but i got kicked out for randomly pressing the buttons

You: probs bc you werent cheering for ravenclaw or hufflepuff...just ravenpuff

Stranger: and they just HAD to use the wedgie spell.....

Stranger: lol

Stranger: that was soooo embarrassing - hoisted out of the pitch by my underwear by an invisible hand

You: well after peter pettigrew died he went to hell and got an invisible hand

You: to replace his robot one, you know

You: now he haunts hogwarts

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.

You: life's bro

Stranger: bra?

You: more like brah

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.

Stranger: Do you have boobs?

You: i have like five

You have disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.

You: IMPERIO BITCH

Stranger: No.

You: do a flip

Stranger: No.

You: eat that spider

Stranger: Do I HAVE to?

You: you are obviously misinformed about the imperius curse

Stranger: Oh

Stranger: Nope, just pushed it to the back of my mind.

Stranger: Because I quit Harry Potter.

You: all right you crossed the line

Stranger: :O

Stranger: Did I?

Stranger: DID I?!

You: AVADA KEDAVRA

You have disconnected.

The Post-SAT World

College Board has got us all tricked. The SAT is just a test, guys. If you score less than what you wanted, you will not die. Just take it again, or take the ACT or prove you're smart and wonderful through something else. The test itself isn't even that hard, it's just long and boring, especially for an ADD person such as myself. I took it today for the first time, though I've taken several practice tests, and I fidgeted my way through the reading sections, but remained surprisingly still for the most part of the test. Being Asian, I have a tendency to take off my shoes when sitting still, but my feet didn't smell because I wore double-layered socks. 

Now that I got my first SAT over with, I feel so much more accomplished, and I won't have that stupid SAT prep book hanging over my head every night. As of Tuesday, I will begin my very first DRIVING LESSON. So legit. I just need to drive. You have no idea how much I need to drive. Driving will open up this whole new world for me. 

I have this thing in my head where I think about what I could be doing at that moment if I a) had a cell phone or b) could drive. Since the first part isn't going to happen until God knows when, I think about option b quite a lot. I have convinced myself that with my driver's license, I will go to the gym and work out, since I can technically do so for free, and also experience amazing moments of self-discovery when I am alone in my car, blasting music and talking to myself. However, I will probably use my license to get food all the time and go broke, and talk to myself until I go crazy. 

Did you notice the new yellow background? I just thought these cold, winter months needed a little brightening. I had this dumb cold weather.