Unorthodox Christmas 2010

Family vacations are complex events. Most of the time at home, I'm so busy that I'm not always aware of my family. I can always resort to the homework excuse to avoid all conflict, but during a fifteen hour car ride and a two bedroom timeshare that seems to grow smaller and smaller with each argument, family vacations remind you that conflict is unavoidable.

Let me give you a rough idea of an Asian family vacation, particularly my family: We argue. All the time. About the stupidest things. We blew a bunch of money to go to Florida for Christmas, breaking the tradition of throwing a huge Christmas party with tons of presents and booze. We drove South, where people at rest stops would look at me strangely because I guess yellow people are rare in the Deep South. Anyways, we took about 1039841 rest stops and argued about 23048 times.

On Christmas day, we followed an itinerary of weird things to do on Christmas:

1. We went to a Buddhist temple. Temple is nice and all, but it's the most random thing to do on the Holy Day of Christ. I felt like I was trying to piss Jesus off or something, by going to temple and saying, "Oh yeah? The son of God was born today? Well guess what I have TEMPLE TOFU betches".
2. Then we went orange picking and acted really cheap and Asian by trying to stuff as many grapefruits into the $10 bag as possible. There were a bunch of arguments. Stealing was contemplated.
3. We went to the Asian district to eat (of course) and then talked to the two gay waiters. 
4. We got home and more arguing ensued. Us kids got kind of sick of it and decided to check out the Jacuzzi. There were kind of creepy people there.

In short, we put those Jews and their Chinese food to shame.